I am an over achieving, self help junkie. I admit it, I work every program I can get my hands on. I work alone under the cover of darkness and I work with the help of small groups where I consistently embarrass myself by giving to much information. I work on-line self help programs and out myself to total strangers from God knows where. If I can just pound the information into my head until it sticks I know I’ll be ok. If I can craft the perfect question, some guru from the middle of India will bless me with a magic answer. I’m sure of it. In the mean time things happen. Doubts creep in and artists block trys to stop me in my tracks. Here is the fool proof method I have found for getting through it. Shhh, it’s a secret until I publish my own series of self help books.
I get out of bed in the morning, I shower and put on clean clothes. Then I trot myself out to my studio and I go to work. That’s it. I go to work. Bad feelings and self doubts are going to come. Insecurities are going to keep popping their nasty little heads up and sometimes, God forbid, I get caught not being very nice about it. But I still go to work. That is my saving grace. When the blocks come I go to work. When the doubts come, I work harder. Before long those doubts and bad feelings go back to the hole they crawled out of and I can take a breath of sweet, untainted air and enjoy that brief, blissful moment of perfection before they return.
Someday a self help program will come along that will give me permission to stop working. I will live a beautiful and creative life that doesn’t involve constant work and constant striving for improvment. Until that day comes you can find me in my studio, probably 7 days a week doing what I do best, working.
